Jeff’s Story
*(name has been changed)
I’ve struggled with alcohol since I was at school. Back then, I thought it was normal to drink most days, especially before exams. As time went on, the addiction got worse and had a major impact on every part of my life. I became homeless, my marriage collapsed, and I spent 5 years in prison. When I came out, I couldn’t see my kids.
Everything revolved around alcohol, until I almost drunk myself to death and ended up in a detox unit in Coventry. That was tough. Returning to any kind of ‘ordinary life’ felt completely out of reach. Eventually, another local charity, CGL, mentioned Helping Hands and encouraged me to go along to the evening Soup Kitchen. I’ll never forget turning up on a Monday night: battling with my mental health, anxious, underweight and starving. Gary, one of the volunteers, welcomed me inside and over a hot plate of food, told me about the extra support they could offer.
No judgment for yesterday
He told me about the Men’s Group that was happening the next day – but I was apprehensive. I’d never fitted in, and I was worried I’d be too far out of my comfort zone and make an idiot of myself. It was a big step when I decided to turn up the following morning. Only after a warm welcome from Kev and plenty of reassurance, did I manage to sit down and settle in with the other lads.
I remember being struck by a sign on the wall – No judgment for yesterday – it said. Over the weeks and months that followed, that was exactly what I felt. It didn’t matter what had happened in the past, Kev reminded me, everyone who came to the support group was equally valued and respected. I could literally feel ‘the hand up’ helping me to make friends, become more confident and experience something very rare for me – a sense of belonging. That was two years ago, and sometimes I find it hard to believe just how far I’ve come.
Finding my happy place
Helping Hands is my community, my happy place and a massive part of my weekly routine. I still need to work on my addiction, and I get support from the New Chapters Recovery Hub, one day a week. I also have a job, maintaining properties and using some of my building skills. At home, I no longer feel so alone. I can see my family, I’m about to become a grandad, and there’s no end of friendly banter on the Men’s Group WhatsApp chat. Basically, thanks to Helping Hands and the support I’ve received, I have my life back again.
